Still broken

What happens when you start to feel like things are getting better and then all the sudden you are completely derailed emotionally? So many moments like this have come upon my marriage. I think my trust in HB has been rebuilt to the point of healing emotionally, and then something sideswipes my marriage and I realize I’m still broken. Emotions get the upper hand in my responses even more than they used to (and I confess this has always been a very weak area for me).

What do I do?

I keep pressing.

Only God knows when full and true healing has taken place. And each step forward is a step toward that day. Each day of choosing to fight and choosing to remain is a small victory. HB is not perfect. He never will be. And there are things that have been lost between us that may never be quite the same. And yet…

Yet I’ve seen glimpses of the reality I’ve heard others speak of – that something actually more deep and intimate can be forged between us through these fires of brokenness.

Have you heard of kintsugi?

Kintsugi is a Japanese form of art. They take broken pieces of pottery and build something beautiful by putting those pieces back together with gold. It is different than before. It has been broken. And yet it is more beautiful than it would have been if it had not been broken.

Jesus, make our broken pieces beautiful. For You.

I am the healer when you need a touch
I am the mender when life comes undone
That's a promise so don't give up
The deeper the pain the stronger the love
Child I know (yes I know)
How much Broken is Enough
-11th Hour